Draft the Rich Kids
By John Tarleton
“They took my only son! My only son! My only son!” cried Maria Alcántara before the coffin bearing her son Juan’s remains was lowered into the ground on Aug. 17. Earlier in the week, Mrs. Alcántara told The Daily News, “The war is never going to end and it can’t be won. They should enlist Bush’s family.”
Nothing would end this war, and the funerals that accompany it, faster than a special draft for all the children and grandchildren of the political leaders who started the war and keep it going. And once in the military, they should be assigned to a special unit that carries out only the hardest and most dangerous assignments — call it the “Baghdad Brigade”.
Start with the hard-partying Bush twins Barbara and Jenna — who can ship off with her new fiancé Henry Hager, the son of a prominent Virginia Republican — and make sure Chelsea Clinton is at their side, along with Alexandra Pelosi. And don’t forget Mitt Romney’s five able-bodied sons or Rudy Giuliani’s two college-age children and all the other adult-age spawn of presidential contenders who offer one reason or another why the war must go on. (With the U.S. Army having upped the enlistment age to a seasoned 42 to stem declining recruitment rates, we can also draft some of the politicians themselves.) Since we are told this is going to be a “long war,” don’t forget to scoop up the children of the Congress members who authorized the invasion of Iraq at the height of the 2002 election season and who continue to fund the war at the rate of more than $100 billion per year.
And if still more boots are needed on the ground, this special draft could be extended to the children of Republican Party political operatives, corporate war profiteers and the armchair generals in such right-wing think tanks as the American Enterprise Institute who continue to clamor for the war.
Let all these children of privilege fight the “terrorists” in places like Sadr City, Ramadi, Baquba, Tel Afar and Salman Pak while their relatives hang on to the words of every email or phone call knowing they might be the last. And when this special Baghdad Brigade is on the verge of leaving Iraq (as Juan Alcántara was), let their tour of duty be extended another three months.
Of course, the war would probably be over by then.
Additional Reporting by Gabriella Szpunt.