SATIRE: Obama at Mandela’s Funeral: An N.S.A. transcript

“I rode here on a drone,” Obama said. “Totally awesome.”

“I always wanted to touch his hair,” said the Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt. 

“Mandela kind of looked like E.T.,” she said. 

“Or Yoda,” Obama said, “NERD!”  

“Neoliberalism is great for our skin,” said U.K Prime Minister David Cameron. 

“Obama, are you tapping my phone?” She asked. 

“Yes,” he laughed.

“Everything is tapped,” Obama smiles, “Even Mandela’s coffin.”

“Did he just say the N.S.A. tapped Mandela’s coffin?” Asked the Prime Minister. 

“It’s his favorite thing to do,” said First Lady Michelle Obama. “We’re going to see a therapist about it.”