In early May, the Indypendent posed seven questions to Andrew Cuomo, then the frontrunner in the 2025 race for mayor. Although the disgraced former governor did not respond directly, over a half-million primary voters provided answers.

Here are five new things we’d like to know.

1.     Which phrase best sums up your current status?

A.     Toppled frontrunner.

B.     Aging gunslinger.

C.     Boomer who only likes millennials if their last name has Cuomo in it.

D.     Mario’s obnoxious kid.

2.     What makes you tick?

A.     Bile.

B.     A feverish commitment to affordability.

C.     Hemorrhoids.

D.     Insulting people whose names you can’t pronounce.

3.       Where did you first become “a snake and a liar”?

A.     Kindergarten sandbox.

B.     Mario Cuomo’s unsuccessful 1977 bid for mayor.

C.     Mario’s successful 1982 campaign for governor.

D.     First visit to Albany.

4.       Caution: This one is long.

4. On May 9, you sent birthday wishes to the “Piano Man,” posting a pic of you and Billy vigorously riding motorcycles together. “Looking forward to the road ahead,” you stated.  Where does that road lead?

A.    West.

B.     East, ending at Billy’s guest house.

C.     North, towards the Clintons’ garage in Chappaqua.

D.     South, to Key West—where you’ll face an existential decision.

5.  Your primary campaign was famously compared to “a lump of moldy cheese.” Which best describes your current run?

A.      A stale baguette that provides a useful weapon.

B.      An unhinged attack on the city’s six million tenants.

C.     A relentless stream of gibberish.

D.     All in for Bibi.

That brings our combined total of questions to twelve, spurring a complimentary offering:

13. You recently visited a mosque for the first time. Why did you invite media?

A. It’s how you roll.

B. It’s a holy thing.

C. Politics ain’t beanbag.

D. You wanted the Piano Man to see you.

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