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Crunchy Granola Porn

Arthur Jones Feb 7, 2006

hippiegoddess.com

Tired of generic porn sites and their increasingly brutal aesthetic? Maybe it’s time for a mellow walk through the woods with the scantily clad young women at hippiegoddess.com, which boasts of offering “the internet’s ONLY exclusively erotic alternative unshaven hippie girl nudes.”

Posing on the beach in Santa Cruz and in their natural habitat in the woods outside of Portland, Oregon, these dreadlocked beauties don’t bother to shave their armpits much less their pubes. Nor do they splay their snatches, wag their booties, do penetration shots or affect the fuck-me look so common to internet porn.

More often than not, they seem lost in thought as they meditate, curl up in a tree branch, stare off into their leafy surroundings or putter around at water’s edge. You can almost smell the sage and the patchouli.

Gazing at these young wood nymphs, a sense of appreciation for their natural beauty eventually gives way to a desire for communion that cannot be fulfilled. This is still a porn site and these goddesses a commodity– if you want to look at more than a handful of the 10,000 plus images you have to pay $24.95 per month.

In the end, even the most exquisite photos are an empty substitute for the sublime joy of holding a beautiful hippie girl you love in your arms.